Friday, October 27, 2006

Self portrait challenge

For creative challenge and inspiration I've decided to join the "self portrait challenge", once I learn more about the technical tricks I'll upload a link to the challenge website onto this blog. But for now, here is my first effort. The theme for October is "imperfection". This week has been a week with many opportunities to reflect on my imperfection and my human frailty. This photo is of the bedside table in my room. It speaks to me of imperfection firstly because it is not a very good photo and yet I'm going to post it. But more than that this photo tells a story about my imperfection because it shows both my good intentions and the imperfect way in which those intentions were carried out. Under the table is my yoga mat, getting good use this weekend now that things have calmed down, but it was rather neglected - despite good intentions - this week when the pressure was really on. Also on the table is a candle for relaxation, but if you look carefully you'll see a remnant of the means I actually used to relax at night this week, a blue stemmed glass peeking out from behind the computer that once held red wine. The orange notebook was to be used as a journal, to express my insecurities and fears. Instead the only thing in it is a catalogue of the books I have with me in Herat (a lesson learned from Ms King) and an account of a disturbing dream I had this week. Instead I worked out my anxiety and stress by eating my way through a half kilo box of Lindt chocolate (see the evidence to the left of the candle) - a box of chocolates which, by the way, I had brought back from my leave to give to the staff in our office for Eid holiday. Next to my iBook is my new Seaen Corn ashtanga vinyasa DVD - not in the computer... Instead what I've been watching is the DVD underneath, Northern Exposure season two, there are plenty of themes to identify with in that show. But the most important point about this photo is that I feel pretty good about it. I admire myself for making the effort, buying the candles and journal, lugging the yoga mat from NZ and the yoga DVD from Portland. I am happy about the two mornings when I did get up and do a few minutes of yoga. I feel pretty forgiving of the wine and the chocolate. So this week I am celebrating my good intentions, however imperfectly implemented, and I'm accepting my human imperfections and the fact that if I didn't have any I doubt I'd be much fun to be around.

1 comment:

Rachael said...

Marianne, I thought i had posted a comment on your blog telling you that I had been reading it, so you knoew you weren't posting into the abyss! But now I go to look for it I can't find it. I think I had trouble with the 'logging in' aspect of it, and who knows, this post might not work either. (Oh hang on I just found my post! Now if I can only remember my username and password again!)

But we are thinking of you and it's nice to get these personal wee snippets as well as your wise view about the terrible things that are going on over there. I was particularly blown away by the 'kids with guns' post, but it is all affecting.

Now going to try and post this again. Could be I need to try and create a new account (my third!).

xx
R